How to Take Little Green Steps Without Sounding Like a Jerk

A low-key guide to being greener without being *that* person.

I chuckle every time I read the title of this week’s newsletter because it’s an unspoken question I think many of us have whenever we start to do something a little different from the people around us. From cutting back on alcohol to eating less meat to taking “little green steps”, any choice we make that goes against the norm has the potential to create some backlash.

Doing something different can bring up lots of emotions for those around us. It might make people feel defensive or even judged for not making the same choices. As a people-pleaser, that’s pretty much my worst nightmare! But I try to remind myself that we’re only responsible for our own actions—not how others react to them. We may not make everyone happy with our greener lifestyle choices, but we can approach our loved ones in a way that makes them feel included in our journey rather than alienated by it.

Assume good intent

It’s probably safe to assume that your grandmother who spent hours cooking you your favorite dishes and microwaves them in decades old plastic containers upon your arrival is not trying to kill you. Most of us are just doing the best we can with the information and resources we have. Everyone knows that cigarettes cause cancer and seatbelts save lives today but 50 years ago these were considered controversial topics. Much of the information on toxic chemicals and ingredients in our homes is still newer and not widely disseminated. Plus, people generally assume that if companies and brands are allowed to sell products, that some authority has deemed the contents of said products safe for consumption/use. As we’ve learned, this isn’t always the case. So, give your grandma the benefit of the doubt and please, eat the casserole :)

Prioritize relationships over perfection

My stance on this may be controversial but I will always prioritize the meaningful relationships in my life over maintaining a perfectly non-toxic lifestyle (which I don’t even have to begin with). I want to clarify that this approach is strictly in the context of little green steps and does not apply to other personal lifestyle choices people make (like sobriety). But to me, spending time with the people I love and sharing a meal or spending a holiday together is much more important than stressing over environmental toxins. Unless you share a permanent living space, infrequent contact with ingredients or materials that you try and avoid otherwise are not likely to cause much incremental harm (disclaimer: I am not a doctor or scientist, just a pragmatist!). I believe it’s important to control what we can in our own homes - where we spend the most time - but as soon as we step outside we lose control of our environment. Do your best, but don’t stress about the one-offs!

Share what you learn without expectations

By assuming good intent, we can also most likely assume that the information we’ve taken in that has led us to make different choices than our loved ones has not been shared with them. Or maybe it wasn’t shared in a helpful or compelling way. In any case, if you learn something new & interesting - share it! But when you do pass along that great article or newsletter (ahem!), don’t expect them to adopt a new behavior overnight. I can’t remember who gifted me The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Mari Kondo many years ago, but last weekend I stumbled upon it in our book collection and started reading through it for the first time. It only took me 10 years to get around to it. Be patient!

Lead by example

Actions speak much louder than words. Swap out your own plastic tupperware before you expect your in-laws to do the same. Introduce your friend to the cute local fish market. Drop off cookies at your neighbor’s door with a Meli wrap. Focus on the little things that are within your control and others will take notice.

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This post marks the end of my 4 post February personal challenge! I’m pretty proud of myself, NGL. As we head into March, I’d love to keep up a regular posting cadence but not sure if that should be weekly or bi-weekly? If you have a preference, I’d love your vote below!

Thanks for reading !!

<3 A